then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Another day, another engagement, another cat
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
