ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Houston, we have a blender
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize
