i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
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And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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