She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
you mean i was at the winter classic?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize