Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize