Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
