my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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