I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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