Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
