call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
