were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize
