Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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