So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
