At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
