I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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