great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
there was a trapeze. enough said
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
