he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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