Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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