no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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