It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
