Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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