My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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