Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
