Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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