you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
where does the pee come out of this thing
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
