office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
