the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
