my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize