That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
