Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize