you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
