Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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