it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
My underwear smells like fireworks.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Randomize