God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
