I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
