The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Randomize