first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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