You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
