So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
