I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
