Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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