New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
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No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
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Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
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