he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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