Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Randomize
