i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
