You're so nebulous sometimes
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
