I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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