NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
