Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Be still, my beating vagina.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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