I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Can Purell be used as lube?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
