Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
