At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
