Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
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I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize