When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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