Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize