i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
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I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
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It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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