Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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